15 weeks, 2 days (The Fourth Month)

Depending on the source, the second trimester of pregnancy either begins at 12 weeks or 14 weeks. There may be another way to figure it out, but either way you shake it, the chance of miscarriage decreases to about 1%. Some of the pregnancy books that I read tell a story of the second trimester (2t from now on) being the "honeymoon" period of pregnancy. I have found this to be true - to a certain extent.

There have been many things that have changed in the past month or so - starting with nausea. Many women begin to lose the early symptoms of pregnancy at about 12 weeks, when the placenta takes over hormone production. I noticed a decrease in my symptoms a bit earlier than that, when either a) the placenta first began ramping up, or b) my body adjusted to the onslaught of hormones that happens during pregnancy. I think it may have been a little of both. Whatever it was - the nausea started to go away - thank goodness!

When we went home at Christmas (10 weeks), I felt relieved that the constant gagging and the intense food/smell aversions had lessoned. My energy levels seemed a bit up, too. Over the past month, I have felt better and better. The most nagging and lingering symptom was heartburn, which sometimes would start at 10am and hang around all day. Not a pleasant feeling, let me tell you. The past few days, however, the heartburn has been almost gone! I don't know if it is because it has simply gone away, or because I started taking B6 again.

I consulted with the herbalist at Herblore and she recommended a couple of things for heartburn. One was take something to increase digestive enzymes, and the other was to take Slippery Elm. I have some B6 in the house, so I started to take that three days ago (it helps with digestive enzymes). What. A. Relief. I am going to head out to a vitamin shop to pick up the Slippery Elm, and I hope that with the combination of the two, my heartburn will be taken care of. At least until I am so huge that my stomach is squished up into my throat!

Speaking of big - I am at that funny stage where I haven't really "popped" yet, but I am definitely expanding and growing. In my mind's eye, I don't look pregnant - but I don't really feel all that fat, either. Granted, I have my moments of feeling huge, but I am not complaining, really (unless I happen to be really tired and grumpy). What bothers me, though, is that I just don't "feel" pregnant right now. I know that this is a common remark often muttered by a pregnant woman during the early 2t, but man - it is a head trip. It doesn't help the "PAL" brain, either. You see, I consider myself a PAL - someone who is Pregnant after Loss. What that means is that every little twinge, or lack thereof, has the potential to trigger the fear of another loss. So - here is a dangerous combo for a PAL:

no popping + no symptoms + no movement (too early) = something must be wrong

These past couple of weeks, my main fear is that my baby is not growing. Now, my wise mind - the rational side of me knows that for a woman in her first pregnancy, it is common that she will "pop" sometime around 18 weeks. My PAL mind is not having any of that nonsense. So, I pray - I talk to the soul of my unborn child and express deep gratitude for every passing day that I share with this baby. I thank the soul of my uterus for providing a rich, nourishing, and protective environment for this special cargo to grow and flourish. I look to the Universe - something greater than myself - and I ask for safety, strength, and protection. And I hope, with all my heart and soul, that next week, at my 16 week check-up, all will be well. Oh - and I also hope that I pop soon or feel the baby.*

In the meantime, here I am tonight - at 15 weeks, 2 days:




*I actually think I might be feeling some movement, but what with this being my first & all - I am not sure - it could just be gas. **blush**