19 Week Check-in

As promised, this post will be dedicated to the little life growing in my belly.

I hit the 19-week mark yesterday, which means that we have one week to go until the big ultrasound. This is where the tech will do a scan of the developing baby to make sure that growth and development are on track. This is also the scan where many people these days end up finding out the sex of their little one. Mike and I decided that we are going to wait until the birth to find out what we are having.

When people ask if I know what I am having and I tell them our plan, many respond with encouragement. Others wonder how we could wait so long - for planning purposes, connecting with the baby, etc. I guess that for me, and for this pregnancy, I don't connect planning and bonding with finding out the gender. I feel very connected to this little one, especially when I feel the little taps, bumps, and turns that are becoming more of a daily occurrence as the weeks pass by. My favorite time of the day is early morning, before the house is awake. I had one day earlier this week when I went into work unusually early, and there was something so special about the day being so still and it being just my and this little life that I foster in this belly of mine.

As for planning, I consider myself a planner. From my perspective, I can do all the planning without knowing if we are having a boy or a girl. We have our little girl name picked out, the baby furniture should be available for pick up within the next few weeks, and the bedding and all sorts of other stuff sit in our spare bedroom, waiting for the time when we get our act together to set up the nursery. We have a car seat and even a coming home outfit! Here are a few pics of the furniture and the bedding:

Who knows how I will feel if we end up deciding to have another child in a few years. At that point, we may end up deciding to find out, just to see what that is like, and how it impacts the process. That is, if we decide to have another one! We have a while before we need to tackle that decision. In the meantime, we are just hoping that this one is healthy and doing just fine.

I still have many fears around losing this pregnancy, and as I near the scan date, my anxiety increases. My fears are around growth and development. I try to tell myself that my belly is getting bigger, and the fact that I am feeling the baby move more here and there tells me that everything in on track. After experiencing pregnancy loss, however, that fear is never really gone. It dissipates as each week passes, but still quietly lurks in the background.

Here is proof that my belly is getting bigger by the week, by the way:

19 weeks, 1 day

The End of and Era (well, four years, at least)

I have the final diagnosis for my Mac, and let me tell you that there is no good news to report. I contemplated wearing a black armband for the first week, but thought better of it, thinking that I may be risking a bit of melodrama with such action.

I will spare you the gory details of the diagnostics - although I know you are so dying to know. After receiving dismal news from the initial service provider I decided to take the computer to the Apple store for diagnostics with an Apple Genius. I must say that these guys lived up to their name (thanks Tony, thanks Drew!). They worked for nearly three hours to troubleshoot the problem. There were moments of joy and light only to be overshadowed by clouds of darkness and despair. Ultimately, the logic board ended up being fried. I will now proceed to completely geek out and include a picture of the gory details. Viewer discretion is advised.

See how the tops of some caps are silver, and some are silver and kind of a coppery color? Well, all the caps are supposed to be silver, and the copper ones are the caps that are fried. The silver lining to all of this is that I was able to get all of my data. Now I just need to get a computer to put it on . . .

More pregnancy updates in the next post - I promise. Although, I know that this is so enthralling and many of you are secretly thinking, "I wish Tracy would post only about her computer and other areas of geek love in her life."

Happy Wednesday - only two days left in the work week!

Missing You . . .

I am going through serious computer withdrawls. I have been without my Mac for 4 days. I go into our home office, and where my lovely computer once sat is now a pile of unplugged cables, a keyboard, and a mouse that is without purpose. As if I need another cruel reminder of how silly it was for me to try mess with my Mac's operating system without doing some research, the Panther installation guide sits on top of the keyboard. Each time I walk into the office I remember back to a little over a week ago when I smugly thought I could just pop the upgrade disk in and all would be merry. Little did I know.

My Mac is at a local repair shop, which got a mix of excellent and absolutely dismal reviews on Yelp, so I fear the phone call I get from them - will all my data be lost? Will it cost an arm and a leg to fix the computer? Will they hold it ransom for months on end? Oh, woe is me and my computerless self.

I've been using Mike's computer a bit, and here I am at work sneaking in a minute of blogging to update y'all. So, I am not without my fix - no dts happening here, no sirree.

As for updates on the pregnancy front, I have 2+ weeks until the big anatomy scan and my next prenatal appointment. I continue to feel pretty good, and I am able to feel the baby move more and more with each passing day. We have the furniture ordered, a car seat donated to us by our friends the Hannafords (thank you!), and some clothes that I have stored away in a bin.

We are not finding out the sex, so most of the clothes I have are hand-me-downs that we will either use or donate, depending on what we are surprised with when this little one comes into the world.

Mike is off work again, which has its advantages and disadvantages. The disadvantages are obvious - no income, tighter budget, etc. The advantages do help balance that out, though. He gets a ton of stuff done around the house, including gardening, home repair, some minor remodel stuff, and other general upkeep that tends to fall to the wayside when we are both working.

So, that is a brief, uneventful update from me. Hopefully I will have my computer back by the end of the week, if the stars are in alignment for me! Please say prayers and bring an abundant offering to the gods of technology!

Technical Difficulties

My Mac is out of comission. Braniac over here tried to upgrade my operating system without taking all necessary steps, and now I have to take my Mac in for repair this week. Mike's computer is still limping along, so maybe I will be able to post from there. I am posting from work right now (on my lunch, thank you!).

I am also eating chocolate covered raisins.