Friday, February 27, 2009

19 Week Check-in



As promised, this post will be dedicated to the little life growing in my belly.

I hit the 19-week mark yesterday, which means that we have one week to go until the big ultrasound. This is where the tech will do a scan of the developing baby to make sure that growth and development are on track. This is also the scan where many people these days end up finding out the sex of their little one. Mike and I decided that we are going to wait until the birth to find out what we are having.

When people ask if I know what I am having and I tell them our plan, many respond with encouragement. Others wonder how we could wait so long - for planning purposes, connecting with the baby, etc. I guess that for me, and for this pregnancy, I don't connect planning and bonding with finding out the gender. I feel very connected to this little one, especially when I feel the little taps, bumps, and turns that are becoming more of a daily occurrence as the weeks pass by. My favorite time of the day is early morning, before the house is awake. I had one day earlier this week when I went into work unusually early, and there was something so special about the day being so still and it being just my and this little life that I foster in this belly of mine.

As for planning, I consider myself a planner. From my perspective, I can do all the planning without knowing if we are having a boy or a girl. We have our little girl name picked out, the baby furniture should be available for pick up within the next few weeks, and the bedding and all sorts of other stuff sit in our spare bedroom, waiting for the time when we get our act together to set up the nursery. We have a car seat and even a coming home outfit! Here are a few pics of the furniture and the bedding:



Who knows how I will feel if we end up deciding to have another child in a few years. At that point, we may end up deciding to find out, just to see what that is like, and how it impacts the process. That is, if we decide to have another one! We have a while before we need to tackle that decision. In the meantime, we are just hoping that this one is healthy and doing just fine.

I still have many fears around losing this pregnancy, and as I near the scan date, my anxiety increases. My fears are around growth and development. I try to tell myself that my belly is getting bigger, and the fact that I am feeling the baby move more here and there tells me that everything in on track. After experiencing pregnancy loss, however, that fear is never really gone. It dissipates as each week passes, but still quietly lurks in the background.

Here is proof that my belly is getting bigger by the week, by the way:


19 weeks, 1 day




2 comments:

Alyssa Arlen said...

Tracy,

I'm sorry your Mac is in the computer graveyard. My sincere condolences.

On a happier note I am glad to see a pregnancy update and new belly pic. Although this makes me feel like I need to take some belly pics of my own soon.

From your pics, my guess is that you're having a girl, so its a good thing you have her name picked out already.

Good luck on the "big" scan!

:) Alyssa

Unknown said...

cute pic! says I. Hope you are feeling groovy.