Will Walk for Beer

Being a full-time working mom keeps me busy, and this blog is currently not high on my list of priorities right now, as much as I'd like it to be. So, all sorts of good stuff has happened as Evelyn rounded the corner into her first year. Here we are now, and she is 13-months old. Where has the time gone? Her newest trick? Walking! Here is the video of her walking to her Uncle Dan today:

Easter Week

This eighth month has been an exciting one for us in the Kennedy household. Evelyn's Mema and Tata came to spend the week with us this past week. We had all sorts of fun together, including an early birthday celebration for Mema, a visit from the Easter Bunny, and a trip to Happy Hollow, which is a petting zoo/amusement park for little kids. Evelyn was a bit too young to really enjoy the park, but it was still fun to check it out. Here are a few pictures from the past week or so:

At the petting zoo with Tata

Tambourine, dig it?

Checking out the Easter basket from Mema & Tata

Me & my girl!

Ultra cuteness, if you ask me!

Of course, the biggest news around these parts is that Evelyn started REALLY crawling this week! It is amazing to see her move around her little play area, pulling herself up onto her knees, and even climbing over things! Here is a little video of that first "big" crawl:

Happy Easter!

As I drifted off to sleep last night, I found myself thinking back to last Easter, and am amazed at how much has happened in the last year. Obviously, I was pregnant at this time last year. I posted a video of the baby dancing in my belly. Remember? If not, check it out here. So, we have gone from that, to this:

Evelyn's daycare had an Easter egg hunt on Friday. Both Mike & I were curious to see how interested Evelyn would be in the eggs. As you can see, she loved shaking them! She scooted on her little belly to get to them and once she had them she would just shake away! We were both tickled to see how she got such a kick out of them.

She has been at the daycare for three weeks and is adjusting quite well. I still carry guilt about putting her in daycare and of course I worry about her mental health in terms of attachment and bonding, but I think that those things just come with the territory of having your child in someone else's care.

After a bit of a rough first week (more for me than Evelyn), we are very pleased with our choice of childcare providers. We decided to go with a larger center for a couple of reasons.

• It is close to my work, so I often visit at lunch and offer to nurse Evie.
• I get a discount as a county employee.
• bigger center = lots of eyes all the time
• no TV!
• referral from a family with years of experience with the center.

With each week that passes, I am more impressed with the center. Her primary teacher is gentle and loving, and very attentive. The secondary teacher is a bit more energetic and sings and dances a lot with the kids. They balance each other out very nicely. They call me if she isn't taking her bottle, just to check and see if that is okay. The staff is very responsive and I love that we get a daily report of not only her eating, sleeping, and diapering, but also of the fun stuff she did. They have daily art projects that are displayed throughout the room. These are activities that the babies participate in, like little handprints or smashing bits of paper onto a pre-cut shape. It is pretty cute.

She has already had her first daycare-related cold. Thankfully it wasn't too severe. More than anything it was a pain to be up multiple times a night dealing with a stuffy nose. The plus side of that is that I got more cuddle time in with Evie. I miss her quite a bit during the day, and continue to grieve not being able to stay home with her. We are still nursing, even when she is away she gets Momma's milk! Pumping is going well so far, and we are four months away from our goal of one year of breastfeeding.

Here are a few of the latest pics of Evelyn, who just turned 8 months on March 31:

At daycare, playing in the ball pool

Easter egg hunt at daycare!

Eating prunes

Enjoying a warm spring day!

Miles Away

On January 29 we moved Evelyn into her crib. This was the third time that we made the move. The first was when she was small. Not like she is big and all grown up now, but at the time she was just a tiny baby still. I couldn't handle the separation. I physically ached when she wasn't in the room with us. It was like my arm was missing.

The second time she wasn't ready, and made it known to all. It was right around the holidays and we were in the process of a futile attempt to banish the swaddle from the bedroom. After night 4 it was useless. We all weren't sleeping and the entire house was just an emotional, sleep-deprived wreck. So back to the room she came, content in her nest next to our bed.

This time, though, the quality of our sleep began to deteriorate with her sleeping in our room. Each time I came to bed she awoke, crying to nurse and frantic for comfort. Maybe I've written about this already, but frankly I am too lazy to check the archives. So anyway, our sleep turned to shit. We were all waking up multiple times through the night, starting with when I came to bed. So, the move happened, and now we are one week later and things are going surprisingly well. She sleeps for a long stretch nearly every night, and when she wakes prior to that first night nursing, she resettles herself more often than not. I do realize that I just jinxed myself by saying this out loud, by the way. My point is, it is working for us right now. We are all sleeping better for the change.

I am surprised, however, at how my heart aches and misses her at night. Our little room feels like it is missing something. In an odd way, having her in the other room magnifies the fact that I no longer carry her in my womb. Women often comment on how they miss feeling their baby kick and roll inside their round bellies. I haven't felt that. Yet, suddenly, here I am missing her soft presence. You see, since October of 2008, this is the longest we have gone without sharing the quiet stillness of the night together. The is the furthest away that my girl has been from me since she was a little cluster of cells.

There are many things about motherhood that I never anticipated, and this is one of those things. I am sure that this is really the beginning of it, seeing as we have a lifetime of intense attachment intertwined with moments of letting go ahead of us.

Once, when I was living in Ecuador, I was talking with my mom on the phone. At the time, I was on a separate continent, my brother was in Boston, and my sister in San Diego - we were all far from home. She wondered aloud, as we talked, what had happened that we all moved so far away? I told her, with confidence and reassurance in my heart and voice, that it was the sense of adventure that she and my dad had instilled in us. In my eyes, they had raised us to explore; they gifted us with a sense of confidence and security to pursue our dreams, regardless of location.

Now, here I am as a mother and my heart aches knowing my own daughter is as far away as the next room. Miles away. How could I know, back then, what it felt like for my mom to have us all so far away? I too, hope that Mike & I will instill the same sense of adventure, exploration, confidence, and security in Evelyn the way that my parents did for my siblings and me. From experience, I know that it will indeed be a magnificent gift to give her. I also know, however, that it is with heaviness in my heart that I will let her go. Only now, as a new parent, do I even begin to understand how much courage it takes to be a mother.

Peas & Knees

This morning we decided to try out peas as Evelyn's second food. I made these up a couple of nights ago and froze them. Instead of using fresh peas, I used organic frozen. I strained them once pureed, to get a smooth consistency. Here is a photo of the finished product:



So, we tried them out this morning and here are the results:



The memory card filled up, which is why the video cuts short at the end. She ended up not really liking the peas at all and just clamped her little mouth shut. So, we will try again next week. In the meantime, I think tomorrow I will try oatmeal or avocado. I haven't decided yet.

On another note, Evelyn has been working really hard to get on her hands and knees. This Tuesday, when we were at the breastfeeding group we've been attending, she really started to get her little belly off the ground, and even began rocking a bit. I caught a short clip of her in action later that day:

Sweet Potatoes for My Little Sweet Potato

Yesterday was a big day for us! Not only did Evelyn celebrate her half birthday, she also had her first taste of solids. I used the Wholesomebabyfood.com website for instructions on how to prepare sweet potatoes. The process was easy and straight forward. Here is a pictorial of the process:

I started with two medium organic sweet potatoes. I poked holes in them, wrapped them in foil and put them in the oven to bake.
They baked for about 45 minutes, until they were soft and squishy when I squeezed them. I then unwrapped them and put them in the fridge to cool while we went out for breakfast with Mike's family.

When we got back from breakfast, I slices each sweet potato lengthwise and scooped out the meat. I was surprised at how the meat fell easily away from the skin. You can see the skins folded and stacked in the photo below.
I used the hand blender to puree the meat. I added breastmilk and water to get a thin puree. It wasn't so thin that I could pour it, but it was very smooth. I didn't know how much liquid I would need to thin the puree to the right consistency, so I just kept adding until it looked right. I used about 3.5 ounces of breastmilk and and additional 2 ounces of water.
This is what the finished puree looked like once I put it in the ice cube tray. Each cube is an ounce of food. I froze the cubes and before I went to bed last night, I popped them out of the tray and into a baggie that I labelled with the food and the date prepared. The little bowl on the left is what I reserved to feed Evelyn over a couple of days, so it is now in the fridge.

Once I finished the preparation process we were ready for the fun. Here is the video that Mike took for those first few bites. She seemed to enjoy it after a bit, and ate about an ounce total.

I already had the joy of changing the first poopy diaper since we fed her and oh boy, we are in for a treat from here on out!

Happy 6 Months, Evelyn!

I can't believe that our Tiny Dancer is 6 months old today! We went to the pediatrician for her 6-month well-baby visit on Friday, and here are her stats:

Weight: 14lbs, 8 oz

Height: 26 inches (she grew an 1 & 1/4 inches last month!)

Head circumference: 16 inches

She is a very healthy little girl and even got her shot without blinking an eye! She has been exclusively breastfed up until today, when she had her first food (I will post another entry on that topic).

taking a break while nursing - see all the milk dripping from my chin?

I was distracted by the camera!

Evelyn rolls from front to back and back to front, can tripod sit for a few seconds at a time, and has all sorts of sounds that she makes. She finally started taking a bottle and enjoys playing with her sippy cup. At times she pushes herself up on her hands an knees, and she can scoot herself around to get to a toy that she wants to play with. I often find her bodysurfing on the wood floor because she has wiggled herself off her play mat. Her personality is exploding more and more every day, with giggles and squeals echoing throughout our house.

Here are a few photos from yesterday and today:

I am 6 months old today!

Chewing on a spoon this morning while at breakfast

Sleeping soundly in the cosleeper

(we moved her to her crib two nights ago,

and last night she slept for almost 10 hours before waking to be fed!)

Hanging out with Cole

Standing up!

Is there a baby hiding under all those blankets?

Spidey Senses

Last night we put Evelyn to bed in her crib. We have done this in the past, but haven't stuck with it due to a lack of planning. I don't know if we will stick with it this time, but that is the intention for now. I decided it was time to start her out in the crib again because our quality of sleep was quickly going downhill. In the past week, she would wake up every time I went to bed. Mike would go to bed and she would sleep soundly. The minute I walked into the room she would start to wiggle and grunt, working herself into a fully awake state.

On one hand, this wake-up was not a big deal. I was up, so I would feed her and she would re-settle. On the other hand, it baffled me. She was sleeping 5-7, even sometimes 8 hours before waking to be fed, so why would she start waking up now, after 3-4 hours of sleep? It could be a growth spurt, which is common at around six months. I don't know, and I could go on and on speculating the cause. My guess was either growth spurt or spidey senses. I think she smells me when I come into the room and after that, it's game over. So, going on the spidey sense theory, we opted to move her out of our room and see what would happen. Last night she slept for 7 hours before wanted to nurse. That was night one.

The spidey sense goes both ways, though. Before Evelyn awoke last night, I woke first. I listened intently, wondering if maybe a noise from the monitor woke me up. All was quiet in the house, so I settled back into bed, not quite able to go back to sleep. Five minutes later, she stirred. I waited, wondering if she would resettle. She did not. She called out in her own special way, letting me know it was time to eat. That has happened so many times in the course of our relationship. It still amazes me how true it is when "they" say how Mama and baby can be so in tune with each other.

I thought I'd end this post with a picture of Evie sleeping contentedly in her crib. Well, there is no way in hell I'd risk waking her up for the sake of the blog, so I settled with one from earlier this week. We had all just woken up and Mike & Evie were playing in bed. Enjoy!

Sleepyhead Rambles

So, I wrote this crazy long post the other day about sleep, and trying to be consistent with the parenting decisions that we make with Evelyn, and within a few hours of writing the post I completely changed my mind about what we were doing with sleep stuff I had written about and deleted it. I just felt like a hypocrite.

I am baffled by how stumped and challenged I am by sleep. I think that adjusting to the sleep patterns of an infant may be one of the more challenging aspects of parenthood. At least it is in this house. So far, teething has been okay, and thankfully colic was not an issue for us. Breastfeeding was challenging, and still is, but the foundation of my sanity is sleep - so if sleep is not to be had, I am a wreck.

The last few nights have been hard. Evie went from being up 1-2 times a night, to waking 3-4 times a night. I don't know if it is growth spurt, or maybe that we have tried making some changes with the swaddle, or if she is outgrowing the pacifier, or maybe the room was too cold? I am really not sure. I also wonder if she is reverse cycling, which is when she takes in more of her calories at night than during the day. She is so active and busy and has so many very important things to do during the day that she has a hard time slowing down to eat. She pops off my breast at any sound or even movement and has to see what is so fascinating right that instant. So, at night there is less stimuli, which means for better eating, right? Who knows.

Anyway, I find that I think about her sleep ALL THE TIME. I mean, I don't know how many times throughout the day I say to Mike, "you know, the other thing about her sleep . . . ". I am beginning to bore myself with how much I think about it. Is this just another exercise in letting go? Who knows.

Changing topics, now. As I mentioned breastfeeding above, it occurred to me that I've noticed that in the past few days that our breastfeeding relationship is changing. It is pretty cool to see how this little girl is starting to play a very active role when she eats. Before, it was all about me helping her latch on and getting the positioning right. Now, she pops off and smiles at me. She pulls off and looks around, sighs a little contented sigh, and then turns back to the breast, ready for more. She cups my breast with her little hands, drinking in the goodness of the milk. It just melts my heart over and over again.

Which brings me to another topic: Love. I mentioned to Mike that before Evie, I felt that I had experienced love. I fell deeply in love with my husband. I know the love of friendship. I cherish the love I feel towards my family, and Mike's family. And then Evie came along and my big heart, that I truly thought couldn't get any bigger, swelled to about 100x its previous size. I mean, I am blown away by this experience. It is truly amazing. This is a new adventure, this love for a child. Sigh . . .

Happy New Year!

As we prepared to ring in the New Year we had another celebration going on. Evelyn turned 5 months old yesterday! It is amazing to think that 5 months have already flown by. The days and nights run together sometimes, and before I know it, we've logged another week!

Evelyn loves hanging out on her play mat, where she rolls from back to tummy, babbling contentedly the whole time. She now knows her name, and seems to respond a bit more to Evie (Ehvie) than to Evelyn. She gets so excited when she sees Mike and me. She kicks her legs and flaps her arms like crazy! She is all about her feet and especially enjoys pulling her socks off and sucking on them.

She is building so much strength in her tummy, neck, and back and I often see her trying to pull herself up into a sitting position.

Practicing the tripod sit

Celebrating her first Christmas was so special and just added a bit of magic to the whole holiday season. She really enjoyed eating all of the wrapping paper as she tore into her gifts.

In her new dress from Aunt Debbie

We celebrated Christmas Eve with Mike's dad and the Kennedy side of the family. On Christmas day we had a great time visiting with Mike's mom. My parents came up a few days later and we had a belated Christmas celebration with them. Here is Evie working on opening a present from Mema and Tata:

Evelyn continues to be exclusively breastfed, which has been one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences that I have experienced. With the sprouting of her first two teeth came the adventure of biting while feeding. Most of the time she bites when she is full and trying to pull off. If I don't catch her quickly, it means a lot of pain for me. Yowza! She is also so easily distracted by the world around her - which means that any new sound results in Evelyn popping off the breast and look around. When she eats in the morning, it is as though it is the first time she has ever been in our bedroom. She sucks for a minute, pops off looks around, drinks a bit more, pops off again - over and over until the novelty of the room wears off and she gets down to business. We are so close to hitting our initial goal of 6 months of breastfeeding. After that, we will evaluate Evie's readiness to start foods as a complement to breast milk. I hope to make it to a year of breastfeeding, but plan to take it as it comes when I return to work.

Returning to work means that I will embark on the adventure of pumping and working. It also means the start of daycare for Evelyn. I have such mixed feelings about returning to work. I will save my thoughts on that for another day and another post.

Mike and I celebrated New Year's Eve at home. Once Evie went to bed, Mike went to work on a dinner of king crab legs, shrimp, and corn chowder. We followed that up with chocolate soufflé for dessert.

It was a mellow night - with some reminiscing of the 7 years that we have been together, a movie (Revolutionary Road - not the most uplifting choice), and of course watching the ball drop followed by a New Year's kiss. What better way to ring in the New Year than with my sweetie and my sweet girl, sound asleep in the next room! From our family to yours, wishing you the best in 2010!

(On a completely unrelated side note - I am watching Zoolander as I write this. One of the funniest movies EVER and by far one of Will Ferrel's best roles as Mugatu!)